5 Outdated Hosting Traditions It May Be Time to Retire

Printed Invitations

While hardcopy invitations will never go out of style per se, their formality has long gone away as a requirement for most events. As long as the details of the party are well-communicated and you give guests enough time to accept the invite, you should be set. “So much of what goes wrong at gatherings, and what makes people anxious to host or even to enter someone's home, is that lack of communication leading to misaligned expectations or norms.” Fagan notes.

Keeping Details Mysterious

It makes sense to want to blow guests away with an element of surprise. But knowing details like the menu and schedule ahead of time can help guests (and you!) plan for dietary restrictions, childcare, and the like. “Give guests a heads up about expectations. If everyone is removing their shoes, give people a chance to wear cute socks,” Fagan says. If you’re hosting a dinner, you can also share with guests who else will be there, how they may know each other, or why you think this will be a cohesive group.

Not Setting an End Time

It isn't rude to dictate an end time for either informal or formal gatherings. "Hosts shouldn't be afraid of letting people know if they need to wind down at a certain time," says Fagan. Put the end time on the invitation or include it in your message to guests.

And don’t hesitate to remind guests when the gathering needs to start wrapping up. End the night with a toast and thank you, ask if anyone needs help packing leftovers or with directions home, or suggest a local bar or restaurant where people can continue their night if they want to.

Sitting Kids Separately

The "kids' table" may be a tradition from your childhood, but no one has to be strict about such a setup. "On paper, a children’s table sounds charming and fun, but in reality, this arrangement breeds resentment and bad behavior," says cookbook author Carrie Shapley. A kids' table can also lack necessary supervision, she adds. If this arrangement works for your family, by all means, continue on!

If you want to transition out of a kids' table, remember that kids can’t always be expected to sit at the table for an entire multi-course meal, so have a designated area for them to play or unwind after they finish their dinner.

Setting an Expectation for Perfection

You're pulling from Martha's cookbooks and decades of advice—you oughta be perfect, right? Well, perfection shouldn't be the goal: It should be creating a welcoming environment for your guests.

Avoid thinking you have all the answers. (After all, hosting is a great way to get to know new friends and colleagues.) Don't assume you're up-to-date on guests' dietary preferences or can anticipate all their needs without reaching out. “Hosts should ask about dietary preferences and guests should let the host know if they have any food or health considerations,” reminds Fagan. Thoughtfulness always goes far.

Going Overboard on Centerpieces

Towering floral arrangements may look striking, but if they block sightlines across the table, they're likely not worth the extra effort. Today’s gatherings favor conversation-friendly centerpieces (think: bud vases with garden-fresh blooms, seasonal greenery and produce, or candles you have on hand) that invite connection instead of creating barriers.

Fussy Hosting Habits

This factors into the advice above. Gone are the days of apologizing for every out-of-place throw pillow or insisting on multi-course, countless-dish affairs. Today’s guests want ease, warmth, and connection; not disclaimers about your cooking or a host who disappears into the kitchen all night. Prepare-ahead meals are perfect for this purpose—what matters most is being present at the table.