9 Hosting Habits That Guests Secretly Dislike (and What to Do Instead)

Relying on Store-Bought Desserts

While there’s no shame in leaning on shortcuts for certain courses, dessert is one area where skipping the homemade route can leave a lasting impression—and not in the way you want. Martha is especially firm on this point, sharing in a previous interview, “I would never buy a dessert, ever, because homemade desserts are infinitely better … Don’t have pie if you don’t make it yourself. I’m very strict about things like that.”

Take Martha’s advice and master a simple dessert you can always turn to, like a no-bake cheesecake or creamy chocolate mousse. And if time is short, elevate a bakery find with a personal touch, like homemade whipped cream or fresh berries, to make the last course a true finale.

Neglecting Key Details (Parking, Weather Plans, Etc.)

Event expert Meg Walker, president and executive chef of Made by Meg Catering, says that a lack of communication when it comes to your party's details can add unnecessary stress on guests.

"As a venue operator, I remind [hosts] to communicate clearly about practical details, such as outdoor elements, weather considerations, and accessibility, so that guests feel comfortable and prepared," Walker says. Share such info upfront in your invitation or, for more casual events, over text. Guests will appreciate the clarity, and you’ll avoid a flurry of last-minute messages.

Waiting for Guests to Ask for Refills

Don’t wait on refill requests: Guests will often hesitate to ask for more wine or water, as they don’t want to “bother” the host. But it’s your job to ensure no one runs thirsty! Proactively circulate with a bottle or pitcher every so often, or place carafes on the table for easy self-service. The key is to anticipate your guests’ needs before they have to ask.

Turning Dinner Into a Cooking Show

Nothing dampens the mood quite like waiting for the oven timer to ding while stomachs are growling. Remember that it's a dinner party and not a cooking show: Don't wait until guests are arriving to get chopping.

Prep as much as possible ahead of time, and choose menus that don’t require constant last-minute fussing. Serving appetizers promptly can buy you some time, but aim to have the main meal ready within a reasonable window. "Long waits without food, drinks, or activities ... are something we hear complaints about," notes Walker.

Avoiding the Topic of Dietary Restrictions

Don’t be shy about asking guests about their dietary restrictions. Leaving such questions unanswered can result in an uncomfortable guest with little to eat.

Inquire discreetly when planning the menu to show thoughtful consideration. "Offer at least a few dishes that can be enjoyed by everyone," Martha writes in decorvow’s Appetizers, "including options for those with food restrictions (e.g., vegan, nut-free, gluten-free)."

Forgetting the Farewell

While many love an unhurried evening, not all guests are comfortable with an open-ended night. Without a clear wrap-up, people may feel awkward about when to leave. Indicate an end time within your invitation, or gently guide the evening to a close by announcing a "last call." This lets everyone know when to begin winding down naturally.

"Frankly, I just say, ‘I’m going to bed, I’ll see you,'" Martha said on The Drew Barrymore Show, when asked how to kick guests out. Hey, whatever works!

Overserving Light Bites

Light bites should tide guests over, not replace the main course. “The cocktail hour is an opportunity to engage with dinner guests and make them feel warm, welcome, and eager for a night of good food and conversation," reminds Martha, "but don’t fill them up–offer little bites of pure enjoyment to spark their appetites."

Too many heavy hors d’oeuvres can make the actual meal feel anticlimactic. Save the abundance for the dinner table.

Requesting Shoes Off—Without Offering Alternatives

Asking guests to remove their shoes is perfectly acceptable, but leaving them in stocking feet (or worse, barefoot) can make them feel awkward. Take a cue from Martha and provide washable slippers or cozy socks in a basket by the door. “Promote a no-shoe policy inside your home by keeping slippers in an attractive basket by the entrance,” our founder writes.

This thoughtful touch makes the request feel gracious and your home like a swanky hotel. "Provide comfortable styles in a variety of sizes for all your guests. Washable ones can be used again and again."

Being Too Busy to Mingle

A frazzled host can unintentionally make guests feel guilty for relaxing. Constantly darting in and out of the kitchen signals that you’re working, not celebrating. “A cool, calm, and collected host is always better company than someone who’s rushing about,” Martha writes in Appetizers.

Organize as much as possible ahead of time so you can be present. “Prepare as much food as you can ahead of time. Freeze-ahead dishes are especially helpful," says Martha.