Rediscover the Joy of Letter-Writing With a Snail Mail Swap—Here's How

These days, we’re all too accustomed to the instant nature of modern communication. With just a tap of a button, we can reach everyone via a DM, text, Slack, or email. Yet the constant online activity has left many of us feeling more burned out and disconnected than ever. Enter: snail mail. The term can describe any physical letter sent through the post, but it has come to mean something much more—a slower, more intentional form of exchange that invites both friends and strangers to slow down and get creative. 

The Return of Snail Mail

"So many of us are craving more experiences that exist off screens," explains Kristine Claghorn, creator of the snail mail subscription club, Proud of You. "Snail mail helps us be intentional and connect with others in a tangible way." Writing a letter forces a kind of slowness that can’t be found elsewhere. "It can’t be rushed. We have to be in the moment," she says. Experimenting with different papers, pens, and other tools can also help spark creativity. The act of gathering unusual items from around the house (or from a walk in the woods or around the neighborhood) helps you notice more and interact with friends in new ways. 

The same impulse has inspired the rise of junk journaling and scrapbooking, other creative practices born out of a desire to slow down and make with our hands. And unlike many art forms that may require prerequisite skills or expensive supplies, these activities are accessible to a wide range of people. “Writing letters, junk journaling, and collaging don’t require you to buy a lot of new materials to get started,” says Claghorn. “Anyone can do it with things they already have around the house.”

Pen Pals, Upgraded: How to Start a Swap

Whether you’re sending traditional letters and cards or elaborate art pieces, it’s helpful to have some guidelines. Here are some tips on how to get started.

Gather Your Group (and Keep it Simple at First)

A snail mail group can be as simple as an exchange of mail between one or two friends or a larger pen pal group made up of loose acquaintances or strangers. If you’re starting a club from scratch, Claghorn suggests starting small to make sure it’s something you can stick with over time.

Start with just a few friends, and then let it grow naturally. To stay organized, keep a shared spreadsheet with everyone’s addresses and contact details.

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Decide on a Structure and Format

Figure out how often you want to send and receive mail. Is it monthly or bi-monthly? Many groups prefer monthly pairings, where participants are randomly matched to send mail to each other for a given month. Others opt for a round robin format, rotating the recipients each month. Whichever the format or the frequency, consistency is key. Make sure to send out regular reminders or create a private Facebook group where members can share photos of their latest mail.

Claghorn’s main snail mail project follows a subscription format where a piece of encouraging mail is sent out every month to subscribers. She also offers a Google form to link people with a pen pal. (You can sign up here!) If you’re interested in pairing with new friends around the globe, she advises looking at Instagram hashtags like #penpalswanted or #snailmailrevolution, or subreddit forums like r/penpals. Explore websites like Postcrossing, which lets participants send and receive postcards from around the world, or Swap-Bot, which organizes swaps for people who love sending unusual and creative mail.

Use Inexpensive Materials

While it can be fun to splurge on beautiful stationery, using cheaper materials can make the letter exchange more sustainable in the long run. It also helps participants stay loose and keep things from feeling too precious. The most important thing is to get your letter or package in the mail, not make it perfect.

It can also be lovely to collect items over time and add them to your letters when the mood strikes. “I love playing around with fun-colored envelopes and paper, unique stamps, and adding little extras like a bookmark or sticker here and there,” says Claghorn. “Handwriting and little imperfections add to the charm.” If you want to invest a bit more, Etsy is a great source for personalized touches like hand-embossers, stamps, stickers, wax seals, and other crafty bits and bobs.

Embrace Creativity

Prop stylist, set designer, writer, and consummate snail mail sender Kiera Coffee is a master of getting creative with materials she has on hand. “I use anything and everything around me to make unique mail,” she says. “The things I send these days are more like art: visual little ditties that have no words and small flights of fancy.” Her envelopes may be decorated with markers, glow-in-the-dark tape, or paint, and she often folds cardboard shapes together to make odd boxes. Coffee also loves to mail unexpected items like rulers, toys, and sponges. “These things become like shared secrets between the sender and the recipient.”

Most of the time, the mail arrives at the recipient in one piece (as long as the proper postage is affixed), but some post offices are stricter and may not deliver weirdly shaped or awkwardly sized mail. This is another reminder to be loose, creative, and embrace the unknown. “Half the fun is not being able to predict when or if your mail will actually get there,” adds Coffee. “If something doesn’t arrive, send something else. Don’t sweat it, and enjoy the ride.”

Play With Themes and Prompts

Some groups like to have a theme for each month, while others prefer to keep it open. The “assignment” could be something seasonal, such as vegetable-themed mail for summer or handmade ornaments for the holidays. Or, the theme could be a prompt that inspires reflection, like the topics in Claghorn’s snail mail subscription project. In her monthly letters, she sends out notes that offer tools for positive change, covering issues such as imposter syndrome, burnout, and more. “It’s a way to feel connected, seen, and supported from afar,” she says.

Think About How Mail Can Be Used

Coffee recently started sending mail with built-in storage suggestions to help reduce clutter. These items include collaged books that can be slotted into a bookcase and poems on slips of paper curled into empty prescription pill bottles (possibly to be stashed in the medicine cabinet). “I once sent a box of premade bows to a friend, imagining they could live with his other wrapping paper and ribbons,” she says.

The concept of snail mail might seem quaint and retro, but it holds an unexpected power. “The time it takes for a piece of mail to reach someone can change its content,” adds Coffee. “It makes no sense, but it’s magical and it brings the details of your friendship into a physical dimension.”